my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
