hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
