I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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