If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
people are starting to question the shark bite story
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
