Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
