9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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