so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
