Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
