Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
