my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
