well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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