I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
