It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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