Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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