I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
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I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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