Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?