WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
