What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
