I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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