I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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