it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
