She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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