OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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