i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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