so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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