nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
