Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
