Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
