yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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