If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
