He disabled his match.com account in front of me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
