I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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