Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
