why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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