when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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