So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
