mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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