Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
