WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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