It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
