guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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