I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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