yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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