We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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