i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
