i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
