This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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