The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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