I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i can't believe i had my finger in that
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
