Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize