I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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