i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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