I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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