i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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