I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
