Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
