butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
