He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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