it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
God, I missed his penis.
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